I See Me

I See Me

I see me.  Small and alone.  Haggard and worn for my years.

A bit bruised and battered, messy, spots on my clothes, stained by tears.

I see me.  Looking foolish and ridiculous in my need for love and comfort.

I am belittled by my enemies, left alone, not picked from life's concourse.

I see me.  Insignificant and unremarkable to this world I live in.

Nothing special to speak of, kind of wrinkly and not so thin.

As I look down on myself in my usual fashion, separated from myself,

God strolls beautifully beside me "Let me your story retell."

He looks at me.  Strong!  Warring against the enemy for the ones I love.

A lot of my scars tracing back to the enemy and not sent from above.

He looks at me.  A child of His.  Once alone, lost and forsaken.

He sees me raised from my circumstances, my burden lightened. 

He looks at me. He sees my promise and the gifts He bestowed.

He sees His son and spirit working in the heart, far from earthly vision below.

He looks at me.  He sees a child of His who he raised.

A million times more potent is His love than the doubts I had today.

Being Chosen For Healing

"Being chosen for healing"

Bartimaeus, I have heard this story a million times in

Sunday school.  This time I read it, I got it. 

Bartimaeus was a blind beggar that Jesus and his disciples

encountered as they were leaving Jericho.

I always took this as seeing the power of Jesus through

His many miracles.  Not this time.  God spoke directly to

my soul (through the help of my Sunday school workbook).

This is a story of being ready to get what you are asking for.

Not only getting it but are you really ready to follow Jesus after

you get it?

So often I have asked the Lord to do a great work through me.

I honestly wanted God to be glorified.  But I haven't always been

spiritually ready to make the sacrifices that were needed.

Bartimaeus begged and begged Jesus.  He begged and bothered

to the point that the Many people told him to be quite.

Jesus saw His heart.  Jesus knew he was ready.  Jesus knew

he wanted more than the healing of His blindness.  Jesus

saw he was ready for the rest of his life to be about Jesus.

God sees our hearts.  He doesn't just see what your neighbor sees.

He sees it ALL.  The Good the Bad and the Ugly!

He sees our truths.

What have you been begging for?   Are you fed up with not

being healed.  Have you been angry because you feel

God is just passing you by? 

I have been one of the other beggars sitting around Bartimaeus.

I have been left crying "Why not me Lord?"

I want to be ready for healing.  I want to be ready for use.

How do we make our hearts ready for healing?

We must desire it more than anything else.  More than fear.

More than pride.  More than pleasure.  More than comfort.

I want to be chosen for healing.  I want to move forward

in this spiritual journey.  I want it to be in my inner soul

that if Jesus gives me what I am asking for, I will follow

him down the road with my new gift.

"He's calling for you."  He threw off his coat, jumped up, and

he came to Jesus.  Then Jesus answered him,' What do you want

Me to do for you?' 'Rabbouni,' the blind man told him, 'I want

to see!'  'Go your way,' Jesus told him,'Your faith has healed you'

Immediately he could see and began to follow Him on the road."

(Mark 10:49b-52)