Striving For Worth and Love
As my self-made to do list brings me to a frenzy, I realize something important.
Some days I strive for things to do. I look for more things to do. Extra's apart from mothering, being a wife, being a Christan. I begin to be my own creator of things. I begin to leave the sensible and God ordained and begin to set out on my own to do's.
Some days, I actually feel like I will get God to love me more with my constant "Christian" to do's. I feel in some way I am gaining favor with Him. I feel my worth is found in this. I have struggled with my "worth" at different times in my life. I, like many, never feel quite worthy enough. Then the deceiver comes into our life and sits with things that surround us and manipulates and whispers, "You must do more than you could ever do to be worthy of God's love and you will never be good enough".
The truth is - God loves us. Crazy and unbelievable as that may sound when you really think about it. God just loves you! Even with out all the to do's. There are hundreds of scriptures to prove this.
Exodus 34:6 .... the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,
Psalm 44:26 Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love.
Psalm 52:8 But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever
Psalm 57:10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Psalm 62:12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”; and, “You reward everyone according to what they have done.
Psalm 117:2 For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD.
Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
There is so much truth and comfort found in these scriptures. They keep me sane. They keep me rooted in the pursuit of righteousness. When we totally understand that in our most sinful, God saw us and loved us anyway.
There are rewards after we are obedient but not more love. There is so much truth in this that it should cause us to want to be obedient. His love is not a free ride to do what ever our sinful nature wants to. I know that when we truly understand His love for us, we feel a strength no sin can consume. We know with such certainty, that no bad days or weeks can question or lesson His love. We can live in peace and joy when we take God's love in as total truth.
Stop trying to win His love by your 'to do's'. Let your 'to do's' reflect a love that was born before your birth, before He sent His son for you, before this earth began. Your worth is not found in what you can do, but what He did! He just loves you!