Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Un - understandable 

You should never read the comments after posts on line.  At least I shouldn't.  My stomach is twisted and my heart and mind are heavy to read how some people call God, imperfect, non-caring, inactive in our world or worse dead.

It's impossible to understand why things have to happen.  Why innocent children are hurt or killed.  I can not give condolence to another parent that will actually take away their pain.  

I Have Seen God take some of the worst experiences humans can face and turn hearts and lives to peace in Him.  I don't believe for a second it is God's will that any should be hurt, murdered, destroyed or perish.  The only thing God can not do is force our world to come into a relationship with Him.  Unless every person on Earth does, His will, will not be done, not all the time.  But His power to, over whelm grief and give peace, to sooth hearts, to give purpose after life altering loss and pain is real.  I have felt it in my life.

I have looked into the eyes of evil and loss and was changed because of it.  I have raised my tear streaked face to heaven and cried "Why".  He brought me from a mound of brokenness, to a life that has the opportunity to help others come to know His peace.  I have heard the words of grace come from a mother grieving the loss of her baby girl who drowned only yards away from her.  I have looked into the face of a women who's husband was shot and she went through unspeakable horrors during a home invasion. She still loved and believed in God's goodness and her testimony has changed other hurting lives for the better.   I have held women who were in tears, years later, after reliving or retelling  about the abortion  they believed was the only way out of a pregnancy they were not ready for.  I have talked with women who's children died after coming home from the hospital, after loving on them and seeing their sweet faces. Their words of praise to God lifted at least a hundred women to praise God during the trials they were facing.  They were encouraged and strengthened because of this women's faith.  I have seen a murdered wife's widow find peace and share God's undying love and caring.  There are many more story's of loss and pain I could lay out here.  Many more story's to gruesome to put into this post.

I will try not to be offended by those who say things like "there is no God" or "God is dead".  I will understand that great tragedy makes us at times loose our way or faith.  I will only try to reach out in truth to a world who doesn't always understand God's purpose and power.  I can't understand God's reasoning for these types of things.  How could I?  How could anyone?  All we know is what we read in the Bible.  All I know is the result of His hand of power in my life, whether its to sooth and mend a broken devastated heart and a wayward life.  Whether its to protect us from the million other tragedy's we know nothing about.  Whether it is to use these horrific tragedy's to bring lost souls to Him ... somehow.  It's impossible to understand.  But I have seen His love and undying devotion first hand.

Don't give up on the notion of God.  I wish I knew all the answers that are thrown out there.  All the "WHY's".  I don't.  It would be ridiculous of me to attempt to explain anything outside the realm of what I have lived.  For me, its belief in God that has not made my life perfect or easy or understandable at times.  It is His promise to never leave, to always turn tears into promise, either for me or another person I meet.  It is His power that propels people who have been through great tragedy, to keep going, to keep giving, to inspire, to mend, to live their lives for the good of others and not be forever lost in their own un-understandable grief.

My heart and prayers go out to these families.  I can not diminish their loss with anything I can write.  I can say how I feel and how I wish God's love on them.  I can hope they will realize His peace that passes all understanding.

1 comment:

ellenb said...

Beautifully written from the heart Jen.

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