A Lonely Heart
I watch her walking towards the building. As she approaches the doors to go in her steps slow and she finally stops and turns to the other children leaving their cars and approaching the school doors. She scans the crowd quickly, she waves to another little person, they frown and walk away, then she sighs and goes in, alone.
We all, at one point in time or another, are like her. We want, we need, we desire someone to walk with us into and through our lives. God created us to be like this, especially women. Most of us have welcomed a husband, a friend into our day to day lives. Even surrounded by people we can often feel alone.
When she gets home from school I try to get all the "face time" I can with her. I am deliberate. Okay, lets just say it "I can be overbearing". I try in my humanness to quench all pain, all loneliness. I try to be her all. Then one day God, in His usual fashion, speaks truth to my heart...
"You are not supposed to be her everything. You are not supposed to take away all her pain. You are trying to do my job. Back off a bit so she can see Me. Teach her to look to me with her hurts, her questions, her growing."
I swallow hard, my heart aches a bit. But I begin a new campaign. To teach her that she can and should go to God with all parts of her life. All her worries, all her loneliness, all her happiness. What ever is on her heart or mind. It is my job as mommy to do all God told me to and let Him do all He promises to. The true quenching of pain and loneliness really only comes from God.
Why I think what I think:
Why strive to have faith?
Does God care about her happiness and security?
How much should I talk about God to my child?
How much danger is really out there?
Why put our whole trust in God?